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Topic: Church of Virus - Personal Revelation Disclosure - Rev. 0.9 (Read 1374 times) |
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Kharin
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In heaven all the interesting people are missing.
  
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Church of Virus - Personal Revelation Disclosure - Rev. 0.9
« on: 2002-05-21 04:45:31 » |
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As written by Hermit...
Church of Virus - Personal Revelation Disclosure - Rev. 0.9
In the event of your imagining that relationship advancement within the CoV
requires personal revelation, this form can be used to alleviate the stress
of putting the truth into painful words, and save the rest of us from the
embarrassment of having to read your disclosures. Simply check all that
apply (Or, as the rest of us suspect, all that you are prepared to reveal at
this juncture.) If you simply quote the numbers, please refer to the
revision of this document as the numbering may be changed by some lamer
(unless it is reordered by the Hermit, in which case it will be the work of
genius) in later revisions.
Release Notes:
This is a draft revision of this form. Suggestions are requested from the
congregation in order to facilitate the completion of this major research
into the interpersonal relationships of the CoV. It should be noted that it
will be suspected that you suffer from any failings you suggest adding to
the list, particularly if you deny that this is the case. The intention is
to complete this work by Jan 1, 2002 (i.e. sometime in the next decade will
probably do).
1 I have been in a porn movie.
2 I have never been in a porn movie
3 I don't think that the ladies of the CoV deserve the starring roll in a
film about the sex-goddesses of the millennium
4 I'm gay.
5 I'm bi.
6 I'm celibate.
7 I'm a hermaphrodite.
8 I'm a fetishist.
9 I'm a masochist.
10 I'm a sadist.
11 I'm a virgin.
12 I'm into bestiality.
13 I'm into "water sports".
14 I'm into B&D (top).
15 I'm into B&D (bottom).
16 I'm into B&D (whatever).
17 My genitalia are pierced.
18 I have no piercings
19 I'm a pornographer.
20 I'm a member of NAMBLA.
21 I have artificial body parts.
22 I'm actually not the gender you think I am.
23 I like to watch.
24 I like you to watch.
25 I find unsafe sex very stimulating.
26 I sleep with squids
27 I have sex with squids
28 I have never had sex with a squid
29 I have a thing for corn-cobs
30 I have a thing for corn-cobs and preparation H
31 I never worked out what people meant when they talked about hamsters and
duct-tape
32 I knew immediately what was meant when people talked about hamsters and
duct-tape. alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.hamsters.duct.tape is my favorite
Usenet channel
33 I'm sterile.
34 I'm pregnant.
35 I don't believe in sex before marriage.
36 I look better in your clothes than you do.
37 I'm still obsessed with my dead lover.
38 I killed my last boyfriend/girlfriend.
39 I'm HIV positive.
40 I've got herpes.
41 Underage? What is that?
42 I'm underage.
43 I'm still in high school.
44 I'm a homophobe.
45 I come from a close family. A VERY close family.
46 I'm an exhibitionist.
47 My entire body is shaved.
48 I'm wearing a wig.
49 I'm wearing a toupee.
50 I'm going in for hair implants.
51 I'm impotent.
52 The doctor told me it wouldn't grow back, but we can get beyond that,
can't we?
53 I'm a girl scout.
54 I'm married.
55 I'm divorced.
56 I'm engaged.
57 I collect frogs.
58 I have a 24-hour web-cam in my bedroom.
59 I have been psychoanalyzed.
60 I am a psychoanalyst.
61 I have amnesia.
62 I have hemorrhoids
63 I've got a brain tumor.
64 I'm receiving treatment for my psychopathic rages.
65 I believe in self-medication
66 I'm on medication.
67 I'm on a LOT of medication.
68 I'm off my medication.
69 I disapprove of drugs
70 Did you ever see Psycho?
71 Did you ever read Oedipus Rex?
72 I'm my own evil twin.
73 I hate my family.
74 I like the French.
75 I am French.
76 I have a severe physical reaction to sunlight.
77 I'm an alcoholic.
78 I'm bulimic.
79 My drinking problem is almost under control.
80 I'm a kleptomaniac.
81 I'm epileptic.
82 I'm a hemophiliac.
83 I have used the phrase "Evolution is *only* a theory
84 I have attempted to defend "creationism"
85 I believe that bathing destroys crucial body oils.
86 I never sleep.
87 I sleep hanging from a hook.
88 I sleep fully clothed.
89 I squeeze the toothpaste tube from the top.
90 I keep my phone calls very short because my mother might call at any
time.
91 I flunked credit counseling.
92 I studied psychology
93 I studied psychiatry
94 I am a cartoonist.
95 I work in the game industry.
96 I have no friends.
97 I'm a day-trader.
98 I'm in therapy.
99 I maketh my living at the Renaissance Pleasure Faire.
100 I made all my clothes.
101 I'm a compulsive gambler.
102 I'm a compulsive penny-pincher.
103 I majored in physical education
104 I majored in philosophy
105 I taught myself everything I know
106 I have not read a book since I got out of high school.
107 I have used the expression "They laughed at the (fill in space here
[often the Wright Bros]) too"
108 I love all Microsoft products.
109 I use a Mac
110 I use a Commodore PET
111 I am Everett E Allie
112 I think Jerry Lewis is funny.
113 I think Britney Spears can sing
114 I attend John Tesh concerts
115 I collect beanie babies.
116 I know all the words to Mr Rodgers' songs.
117 I really like Barney.
118 That Garth Brooks, what a genius!
119 That Rush Limbaugh, what a genius!
120 That Al Sharpton, what a genius!
121 I'm a drug dealer.
122 I'm still stalking my ex.
123 I own stock in a tobacco company.
124 I'm a tax evader.
125 I'm a deadbeat parent.
126 I'm a member of the Russian nobility in hiding.
127 I'm a republican.
128 I'm a libertarian.
129 I'm a white supremacist.
130 I believe the X-Files is a documentary.
131 I'm a carnivore.
132 I'm a devout vegetarian.
133 Mmm, tofu.
134 I believe coffee making is a sacred ritual.
135 I think coffee is evil.
136 I'm Catholic.
137 I'm a recovering Catholic.
138 I'm a Hasidic jew.
139 I am a communist.
140 I think Stalin really had the right idea.
141 I believe George "Dubya" Bush is the greatest American President ever
142 The Bible is the literal truth.
143 God tells me what to do.
144 I'm a member of a cult that doesn't think you're a human being.
145 I'm a scientologist.
146 I believe in reincarnation and you're looking awfully familiar.
147 I'm a drug addict.
148 I'm a recovering drug addict .
149 I belong to an ethnic group which is currently at war with yours in our
homeland.
150 I sleep with a gun under my pillow.
151 I'm a member of the NRA.
152 I have a Rottweiler.
153 I was in the military.
154 I'm still in the military.
155 I'm in another country's military.
156 I'm a spy.
157 I know more about you than you do.
158 The voices in my head say I should kill you, but I think I can ignore
them this time.
159 I refuse to speak English in the home.
160 I really need a green card.
161 I'm in this country illegally..
162 I am Osoma bin Laden
163 I gave Osoma bin Laden his instructions
164 I did time.
165 I'm on parole.
166 I'm moving to Tobago tomorrow.
167 I'm homeless.
168 I'm burning my house and seeding the ground with salt tomorrow.
169 I burnt my house down
170 I live in a house made of straw
?
Space for additional admissions to be inserted sequentially (or wherever
they fit - particularly when well lubricated).
...
666 Hermit is the personification of Eeevil
[Hermit, inspired by a random mail-meme, reordered, edited and extended this
list to cover the majority of admissions made on the CoV up to Dec 25,
2001.]
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Kharin
Archon
Posts: 407
Reputation: 8.46
Rate Kharin
In heaven all the interesting people are missing.
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Re:Church of Virus - Personal Revelation Disclosure - Rev. 0.9
« Reply #1 on: 2002-05-21 04:49:55 » |
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To which the following additions have been proposed:
171 I think David Icke has many interesting ideas
172 I would very much like to tell you about my favourite heavy metal band
173. I admire Aleister Crowley immensely
174. I admire Anton La Vey immensely
175. The combination of psychedelic drugs and fried dishrags has opened the gates of heaven to me.
176 Smoking carpet tiles has opened the gates of heaven to me.
177. As Lenin once said....
178. As Kropotkin once said...
179. I sleep with a copy of Mao's little red book under my pillow.
180 You know, Marx may have been wrong about some things, but he really had a point about...
181. That reminds me of something I read in the Daily Mail...
182. Ann Widdecombe. What an icon!
183. I have posters from Conservative Central Office decorating my bedroom.
184. I've just bought some of William Shatner's toenail clippings from this really great website!
185. The multiverse loves you!!
...
665. I am Everett E Allie. Look on my posts ye mighty and despair!
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Hermit
Archon
Posts: 4287
Reputation: 8.94
Rate Hermit
Prime example of a practically perfect person
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Re:Church of Virus - Personal Revelation Disclosure - Rev. 0.92
« Reply #2 on: 2002-07-22 03:19:30 » |
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Church of Virus - Personal Revelation Disclosure - Rev. 0.92
In the event of your imagining that relationship advancement within the CoV
requires personal revelation, this form can be used to alleviate the stress
of putting the truth into painful words, and save the rest of us from the
embarrassment of having to read your disclosures. Simply check all that
apply (Or, as the rest of us suspect, all that you are prepared to reveal at
this juncture.) If you simply quote the numbers, please refer to the
revision of this document as the numbering may be changed by some lamer
(unless it is reordered by the Hermit, in which case it will be the work of
genius) in later revisions.
Release Notes:
This is a draft revision of this form. Suggestions are requested from the
congregation in order to facilitate the completion of this major research
into the interpersonal relationships of the CoV. It should be noted that it
will be suspected that you suffer from any failings you suggest adding to
the list, particularly if you deny that this is the case.
1 I have been in a porn movie.
2 I have never been in a porn movie
3 I don't think that the ladies of the CoV deserve the starring roll in a film about the sex-goddesses of the millennium
4 I'm gay.
5 I'm bi.
6 I'm celibate.
7 I'm a hermaphrodite.
8 I'm a fetishist.
9 I'm a masochist.
10 I'm a sadist.
11 I'm a virgin.
12 I'm into bestiality.
13 I'm into "water sports".
14 I'm into B&D (top).
15 I'm into B&D (bottom).
16 I'm into B&D (whatever).
17 My genitalia are pierced.
18 I have no piercings
19 I'm a pornographer.
20 I'm a member of NAMBLA.
21 I have artificial body parts.
22 I'm actually not the gender you think I am.
23 I like to watch.
24 I like you to watch.
25 I find unsafe sex very stimulating.
26 I sleep with squids
27 I have sex with squids
28 I have never had sex with a squid
29 I have a thing for corn-cobs
30 I have a thing for corn-cobs and preparation H
31 I never worked out what people meant when they talked about hamsters and duct-tape
32 I knew immediately what was meant when people talked about hamsters and duct-tape. alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.hamsters.duct.tape is my favorite Usenet channel
33 I'm sterile.
34 I'm pregnant.
35 I don't believe in sex before marriage.
36 I look better in your clothes than you do.
37 I'm still obsessed with my dead lover.
38 I killed my last boyfriend/girlfriend.
39 I'm HIV positive.
40 I've got herpes.
41 Underage? What is that?
42 I'm underage.
43 I'm still in high school.
44 I'm a homophobe.
45 I come from a close family. A VERY close family.
46 I'm an exhibitionist.
47 My entire body is shaved.
48 I'm wearing a wig.
49 I'm wearing a toupee.
50 I'm going in for hair implants.
51 I'm impotent.
52 The doctor told me it wouldn't grow back, but we can get beyond that, can't we?
53 I'm a girl scout.
54 I'm married.
55 I'm divorced.
56 I'm engaged.
57 I collect frogs.
58 I have a 24-hour web-cam in my bedroom.
59 I have been psychoanalyzed.
60 I am a psychoanalyst.
61 I have amnesia.
62 I have hemorrhoids
63 I've got a brain tumor.
64 I'm receiving treatment for my psychopathic rages.
65 I believe in self-medication
66 I'm on medication.
67 I'm on a LOT of medication.
68 I'm off my medication.
69 I disapprove of drugs
70 Did you ever see Psycho?
71 Did you ever read Oedipus Rex?
72 I'm my own evil twin.
73 I hate my family.
74 I like the French.
75 I am French.
76 I have a severe physical reaction to sunlight.
77 I'm an alcoholic.
78 I'm bulimic.
79 My drinking problem is almost under control.
80 I'm a kleptomaniac.
81 I'm epileptic.
82 I'm a hemophiliac.
83 I have used the phrase "Evolution is *only* a theory
84 I have attempted to defend "creationism"
85 I believe that bathing destroys crucial body oils.
86 I never sleep.
87 I sleep hanging from a hook.
88 I sleep fully clothed.
89 I squeeze the toothpaste tube from the top.
90 I keep my phone calls very short because my mother might call at anytime.
91 I flunked credit counseling.
92 I studied psychology
93 I studied psychiatry
94 I am a cartoonist.
95 I work in the game industry.
96 I have no friends.
97 I'm a day-trader.
98 I'm in therapy.
99 I maketh my living at the Renaissance Pleasure Faire.
100 I made all my clothes.
101 I'm a compulsive gambler.
102 I'm a compulsive penny-pincher.
103 I majored in physical education
104 I majored in philosophy
105 I taught myself everything I know
106 I have not read a book since I got out of high school.
107 I have used the expression "They laughed at the (fill in space here [often the Wright Bros]) too"
108 I love all Microsoft products.
109 I use a Mac
110 I use a Commodore PET
111 Refer 665
112 I think Jerry Lewis is funny.
113 I think Britney Spears can sing
114 I attend John Tesh concerts
115 I collect beanie babies.
116 I know all the words to Mr Rodgers' songs.
117 I really like Barney.
118 That Garth Brooks, what a genius!
119 That Rush Limbaugh, what a genius!
120 That Al Sharpton, what a genius!
121 I'm a drug dealer.
122 I'm still stalking my ex.
123 I own stock in a tobacco company.
124 I'm a tax evader.
125 I'm a deadbeat parent.
126 I'm a member of the Russian nobility in hiding.
127 I'm a republican.
128 I'm a libertarian.
129 I'm a white supremacist.
130 I believe the X-Files is a documentary.
131 I'm a carnivore.
132 I'm a devout vegetarian.
133 Mmm, tofu.
134 I believe coffee making is a sacred ritual.
135 I think coffee is evil.
136 I'm Catholic.
137 I'm a recovering Catholic.
138 I'm a Hasidic jew.
139 I am a communist.
140 I think Stalin really had the right idea.
141 I believe George "Dubya" Bush is the greatest American President ever
142 The Bible is the literal truth.
143 God tells me what to do.
144 I'm a member of a cult that doesn't think you're a human being.
145 I'm a scientologist.
146 I believe in reincarnation and you're looking awfully familiar.
147 I'm a drug addict.
148 I'm a recovering drug addict .
149 I belong to an ethnic group which is currently at war with yours in our homeland.
150 I sleep with a gun under my pillow.
151 I'm a member of the NRA.
152 I have a Rottweiler.
153 I was in the military.
154 I'm still in the military.
155 I'm in another country's military.
156 I'm a spy.
157 I know more about you than you do.
158 The voices in my head say I should kill you, but I think I can ignore them this time.
159 I refuse to speak English in the home.
160 I really need a green card.
161 I'm in this country illegally..
162 I am Osoma bin Laden
163 I gave Osoma bin Laden his instructions
164 I did time.
165 I'm on parole.
166 I'm moving to Tobago tomorrow.
167 I'm homeless.
168 I'm burning my house and seeding the ground with salt tomorrow.
169 I burnt my house down
170 I live in a house made of straw
171 I think David Icke has many interesting ideas
172 I would very much like to tell you about my favourite heavy metal band
173 I admire Aleister Crowley immensely
174 I admire Anton La Vey immensely
175 The combination of psychedelic drugs and fried dishrags has opened the gates of heaven to me.
176 Smoking carpet tiles has opened the gates of heaven to me.
177 As Lenin once said....
178 As Kropotkin once said...
179 I sleep with a copy of Mao's little red book under my pillow.
180 You know, Marx may have been wrong about some things, but he really had a point about...
181 That reminds me of something I read in the Daily Mail...
182 Ann Widdecombe. What an icon!
183 I have posters from Conservative Central Office decorating my bedroom.
184 I've just bought some of William Shatner's toenail clippings from this really great website!
185 The multiverse loves you!!
186 I have been spayed
- Space for additional admissions to be inserted sequentially (or wherever they fit - particularly when well lubricated).
...
665. I am Everett E Allie. Look on my posts ye mighty and despair!
666 Hermit is the personification of Eeevil
[Hermit, now consolidates Kharin's suggestions along with an interesting admission made on IRC.
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With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion. - Steven Weinberg, 1999
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MoEnzyme
Acolyte
Gender: 
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Reputation: 4.54
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infidel lab animal
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Re:Church of Virus - Personal Revelation Disclosure - Rev. 0.9
« Reply #3 on: 2002-07-22 05:15:47 » |
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....
186 I have been spayed
187 I have been castrated
....
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I will fight your gods for food,
Mo Enzyme
(consolidation of handles: Jake Sapiens; memelab; logicnazi; Loki; Every1Hz; and Shadow)
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Cassidy McGurk
Adept
Gender:
Posts: 128
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http://www.isec.info/ get me out of here!
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Re:Church of Virus - Personal Revelation Disclosure - Rev. 0.9
« Reply #4 on: 2002-07-22 13:19:51 » |
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I'm sure it's bloody hilarious, but it was scary medical procedure, made worse by the doctor talking about all the good looking young student girls at the university I was working at in a nudge nudge wink wink tone as he snipped away my manhood.
I thought 3 was enough to ensure my genetic immortality anyway.
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I must remember to change this sig regularly
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