From: Kalkor (kalkor@kalkor.com)
Date: Sat Sep 20 2003 - 21:23:40 MDT
[Mermaid]
interesting digression. my initial post was to query people on their own
personal and unique techniques of communicating and deliberately employing
body language to reach their ends. i truly enjoyed the various posts on
interpretation of body language etc. still, my query remains largely
unanswered. maybe we need to illustrate with examples? given a hypothetical
situation ...like a task assigned, have anyone of you recognised the
conscious or unconscious movements and subtle signals you generate in order
to communicate effectively? feel free to make up your own hypothetical
situation.
e.g: i have always found that lowering my voice often draws people closer to
me. they pay more attention because if they dont, they cant hear a freaking
word i utter. minimal infliction of emotion in the voice also lulls people
to listening more attentively. basically, the idea is to take control of the
scattering of the listener's attention. this is something i employ
consciously if i urgently want someone to listen to me. 'body language'
interpretation is a whole different subject which is also interesting, but
rather iffy and too varied for general analysis.
<snip>
[Kalkor]
Verbal and nonverbal communication are becoming very important to me,
considering the career that I'm training for. When I did tech support, I
experimented a bit with the pitch, speed, and cadence of my voice. I found
that lower, slower, and more rhythmic gave me more control over people on
the phone.
With massage, I have a couple of verbal/nonverbal "roles" I'm trying to
develop: the medical professional and the massage therapist. I can't use the
same voice in the massage room as I do during a medical intake interview,
it's inappropriate and doesn't achieve the desired effect. Mostly it comes
down to lower, slower, and more rhythmic in the massage room. Doing Swedish
Massage, my main goal is relaxation rather than any specific therapeutic
goal. There is a mental state I try to put people into, right on the edge of
awake and sleeping. I usually start with gentle rocking, a low, quiet,
rhythmic instruction on breathing (deeply and slowly, counting to 5 or 6 for
each inhale/exhale), and encouraging people to forget about everything but
the counting for breathing and immediate tactile sensations. When I instruct
people to do things like contract as part of a muscle energy technique, I
make sure to use positive adjectives like "excellent" and "perfect" and
"great", even if they do it wrong, then next time I explain myself more
clearly before I tell them to perform the task again.
During an intake interview, however, I have much more animation and cheer in
my voice, offering water and discussing the answers to medical questions. I
try to speak a bit faster, using medical terms much more often. I am a bit
more curt and commanding, especially if I'm having people test their range
of motion while I scribble inscrutably on my chart.
My goals are varied: during the intake, I want to express confidence and
trust, professionable and knowledgeable. I am opening up the scene for
someone to relax and allow me to basically touch and manipulate their body
without them becoming more tense. Then during the massage, when I've
achieved that trust, I'm concerned with maintaining it and giving the
impression that I'm very attentive and focused while keeping them awake but
'zoned'.
Anyone have suggestions for me to improve my methods, the goals are probably
going to remain fairly constant ;-}
I have done very little research on techniques and strategies for improving
the effectiveness of verbal and nonverbal communication. If anyone can
provide some good links/books? That would rock!
Kalkor
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